I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Terrible idea I love it
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
