I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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