So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
they need to just BURY HIM!
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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