we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
