coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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