Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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