the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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