i permit you to call me
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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