There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
