Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
