cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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