3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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