Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
