I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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