Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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