dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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