i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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