fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
