I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I fill condoms, not promises.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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