it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
