and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
