how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
