Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
