Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize