Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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