***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
