Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
i think i have herpe
just one?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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