I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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