Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
sarcasm needs its own font
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
