it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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