Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
