He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
