Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
