covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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