do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
