woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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