He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
