Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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