I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
be right there i have to get my cape
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
