Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
