One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
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