Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
