you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
