Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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