she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
