guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Church boner. Awkwardddd
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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