Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize