yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
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