Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
