I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
