It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
