it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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