Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
