They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
