dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
